We just had a new addition at our place three weeks ago, so needless to say, life here has been simultaneously overwhelming and wonderful. It’s also given me lots of time to think while I walk the late-night circuit around our apartment, trying to coax the little one to sleep. Please, allow me to share with you what goes through my head at these moments:

  1. My daughter’s idea of a great evening is rolling around on an afghan on the floor, staring at light fixtures. She enjoys staring at mundane objects. Which makes me think that maybe there’s something there to see. In fact, I believe there’s a lot to see. This world really is a beautiful and fascinating place. Want to see it through eyes that are seeing everything for the first time? Watch a baby. It’s fun.
  2. I’m not in control. Of anything. I would prefer to maintain my old sleep schedule and to be informed ahead of time of any upcoming sicknesses and infection, as well as their outcome, so that I’m not tempted to worry when they strike. I know that God is good and sovereign, and that I honor him when I trust him with the life of my family. But it’s taken an ER visit, several doctor’s appointments, and some late-night phone calls to deepen my obedience in this area.
  3. Knowing human nature, maybe it’s actually a good thing that an infant’s main communication vehicle is crying. Am I the only one who’s ever thought this, or am I just tired and in denial? If it were anything less aurally violating, I’ve become convinced that we would cut corners on her care in an effort to preserve our former way of life (and quantity of sleep). She has many needs in these early days of life, and her crying might just be the thing to convince us to seek out the need and its solution most efficiently. Anything else, and–I confess–I think I’d go back to sleep.

Those of you with children are shaking your heads. Welcome to the club, Ben.