In my experience, people apologize badly. If you speak an honest word to them, they rarely say, “Oh, thank you for that rebuke. I’ve felt pride welling up in my heart all morning. Your honesty has restored my soul.” More typically, I hear, “I know I am wrong, but you do the same thing,” or just a flat, passionless, “I’m sorry,” which can mean, “I’m apologizing because I got caught.” Or they retaliate or withdraw emotionally. But if I’m doing hesed love, if I’ve accepted that life is uneven, then, like God, I can accept even a grumpy apology. The humility that characterizes hesed love absorbs the other person’s pride like a giant sponge and keeps me from turning the apology into a quarrel.

– Paul Miller, A Loving Life, Crossway 2014 (p. 59).

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